No better way to say this

I feel like I'm trapped in my mind

and the walls are closing in.

Desolate

I feel so empty.
I feel as though I'm drowning and I've been living in the feeling right before you die.
I can't get a breath and I'm coughing up bubbles.
There's a fluttering sensation my heart keeps making that's telling me to swim upward.
Every time I'm right beneath the surface where I can reach up and my fingertips can feel the warmth of the sun, I'm tugged down again.
Every tug pulls me deeper and deeper.
I struggle and wonder why this is even happening to me anymore because I feel I should learn from my mistakes.
I should gain some knowledge from my past as to not keep finding myself sputtering for air.
My chest is so full I may burst.
My lungs are on the brink of combustion.
And right when I feel my soul starting to evaporate, the hatred and sadness within lets go of my flailing legs and offers me a gasp of sacred air.
Right when I can taste the delicious fruit of reassurance, a worm peeks out from my apple.