I never thought that

The saying: "Ignorance is bliss" held so true to me. I never thought that I would rather not fucking know than be severely disappointed when I find out the truth. I hate that I can barely trust anyone and that I have to walk with my eyes crazily scanning all around me and sleeping with one eye open. I don't like feeling alone. I don't like feeling as though I can't just make every thought I have open to everyone. I want more from life. I want more people to be trustworthy. I want so much and so little from everyone. How hard is it? I'm aware that all I do is complain. I'm also aware that I myself aren't in any way perfect. I know I'm one of the people I speak about. I can't be trusted, nor can I stand myself either. What I know is that when I say I'm not going to do something or I am, I usually come through to the best of my ability. Seeing as I don't have things many people do readily available to me, I may fall short on many things. Such things I can't give my word on are never promised, just hoped for. All I'm asking is that everyone else hope to do what they say they will instead of having completely empty promises. I know that it's impossible for all humans to keep promises, but please, at least do what you can and hope for what you agreed to. I'm just so sick and fucking tired of everyone and everything being so desolate.