So

In the next few months I have to get my shit figured out and move to either Chicago, back to Cedar Rapids or to Ohio. Although it'd be nice to be with my family all the time, I don't want to move to Ohio because I'd miss Elise too much and Leslie and I would definitely regret it within the first month. I do love my family, but I'm closer with my best friend than them, which seems messed up, but I don't spend enough time with them. It would lead you to wonder why I don't move there for that reason, spending time with them, but it's more than that and I don't want to be unhappy where I am. I definitely don't want to move back to Cedar Rapids because I don't want to live alone there, have a hard time finding rides to work and go backwards. I've only just left and I know I could take the bus to work, but getting home would be hard because the bus only runs until about 6:30pm. I'll most likely move to Chicago because my heart is there and Elise is moving there, too. She can't live at her brother's forever and so when she decides it's time, she can just live with me, which would be great. I guess I could handle living alone for probably a year, but I get so scared and paranoid. I just can't sit alone with my thoughts for too long because I know I will freak myself out completely. The best parts of it would be that the public transportation goes to many places and runs all of the time and that I just love Chicago. I won't be bored even when I have to go to places alone and I could maybe get a dog of my own. Also, I could probably work at Nordstrom again. I'll even work at the Rack. I hope everything works out for this and that I'm not getting too ready for letdowns, as usual.