Know what...

Everyday I wake up on the "wrong" side of the bed.
Anytime I look blank, I have you in my head.
Sadly, I'm a victim of cliche lust and loss.
I've paid my dues tenfold, although expensive is the cost.
I turn to look and see who it is that called my name.
And always it is no one, hallucinations are to blame.
I make believe things to get me through the day.
People question my smile and I reply with "I'm okay."
Being "honest" doesn't matter; I still tell many lies.
One day people will see right through my disguise.
I set myself up for failure more and more and more.
I can't even cry because I know what's in store.
Go ahead and say that I'm being melodramatic.
But put yourself in my shoes, oh, wait they'll never fit.
I don't need someone to completely understand.
And I don't need someone to adhere to my demands.
Because let's face it, I'm so not worth your time.
We all know time is money and I'm not worth a dime.
I have such will to dream up higher hopes.
But each time pursued, the door is slammed, "Nope!"
With how much I've laid down, all the blood, sweat and tears.
Everything becomes reality, even my darkest fears.
The only things keeping me from collapsing in the dust.
Are the fairytales I live with of sadness, loss and lust.