I wish I knew how to be as careless as most everyone else I know. I don't like dissecting every little thing that people say or do, even if not toward me or about me. But subconcious words and/or actions will end up eating me alive. It's not about me, it never is or will be, but I just want someone to put me on a pedestal. To love me the most. I want to be the special person for someone. I would kill to be the reason someone makes a big choice or the reason love is even valid to them. I think about how I want to change someone's life and be a main reason they cherish it. I want something to be set in stone for me. For once. I know life isn't fair, but nothing ever seems to work out. I always love too much & lose it all somehow.