Ever since it was normal for hormones to give you "that feeling" and for teens to masturbate, I've been unable to be properly turned on. Like yeah, I mentally get turned on, where I want to get busy with another person I find attractive, but when I'm touched, I cannot get that special feeling. Touching me dirty has the same potential that shaking my hand does. I've always been too embarrassed to admit it, until lately, after I started to get really jealous of all of my friends. It wasn't even jealously over them getting any in the first place, it was jealousy over that even when they masturbate, they get turned on at all or even cum or orgasm. It's lame. And I try crediting it to my depression because it'd make complete sense, but I wasn't that bad when I was 13 or 14 and decided that "discovering myself" was a good idea. It was completely pointless and lack luster then as it is now, so I don't do it often or very much at all. Now, I just kinda flop about in bed when I can't sleep and wish I had some sort of outlet? Or something? Sex and sexual acts are one of the simplest forms of pleasure and generators of happiness. I've looked into it and realized that, although very few, other females have this problem, but that just makes me more worried. I kinda wanted it to just be me and a result of my depression, because that'd mean there was some sort of fix. But it's not and it's not my depression, because the first time would've been nice, as would other early sexual experiences I had.
I looked into it and I couldn't find anything on why I don't get aroused. Everything said didn't line up or came from something. No matter what, if I'm sexually touched, it feels like nothing.
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