Promise

I've decided that in order to maintain the people I have in my life, I'm forcing myself to hold as much "serious" negativity in as humanly possible. This includes everything that can honestly sabotage good feelings and/or emotions. No matter how much I want or need to vent, I'm going to hold it in. Pretending I'm okay all of the time may force me to believe I am. I've reached a point where being honest is no longer right. From now on, I'm going to do my damnedest to fake happiness. I'm not always unhappy now, mostly due to a couple few friends, but I am most of the time. No matter what, whether I'm being hacked to death or what have you, I have no choice but to act like the shit isn't still piling higher and higher. Life isn't fair. Grin and bear it. It could be worse. I have to pretend for the rest of my life. And weirdly enough, I'm going to miss being true to myself, no matter how painful each day has felt.