Quit acting like the world's against you

I don't have anything good to say. I feel like I made myself look bad because I have to run from every potentially bad situation. Because I'm not strong enough to be alone, in my own court, everyday. I don't think the world's against me. I think that people don't listen to me, sometimes and my feelings get hurt. I'm not trying to be all about me or selfish. Ever since I can remember, I've had to fight all my battles alone. I get defensive. I don't get listened to a lot. I don't mean to offend people. I just want to be heard. It feels like I've been all on my own for most of my life. Even in my "parents" house, I had to fight every single battle. Even when I was 7, I took every blow alone. I'm sorry if I can't figure out what to change. Or how to get over it. Because watching people just have everything I've wanted, just makes it harder to be okay. The world isn't against me, I am. I cannot see things working out for me. I'm struggling so hard with normal everyday life, that I cannot see myself being able to handle much more. I need money, courtesy and someone to talk to.