The fake happiness walls I put up have crumbled.

That was short-lived. I'm sitting alone and realizing where all the money I made went. Paying for everything for almost the past seven years really stresses me out, with the exception of where I lived, aka "my parents'", for my senior year. I need money. I'm scared because I want to give up everyday. And now I'm scared to go to work because I'm not a strong enough person. I want to just rest easy, but I need another job. I want to go to school, but I'll still need to work quite a bit, so I can gain some comfort. I don't want to fall behind or completely shit on college. I know that I can get aid, but I want to save money as soon as I can. I wish I didn't cry so much. The more I do, the less I feel I can hold back. The less strength I feel like I have. I go through most days fighting with whether I want to keep, well, fighting. I wish I didn't, trust me. I just want a place to call home, where I don't have to worry.