Clueless

How to fathom one's worth seems as though it should be easy. But day in and day out I ponder my place in this world and I don't see my point. Yes, I have friends and family, but I sometimes feel invisible when I'm around more than one of them at once. I don't place the blame for that in any one of them, I completely place it in myself. I'm easy to disregard and simple to not show much interest in when attention is paid. If I were you, I'd do the same to me. Everything I go through when interacting with anyone is my fault. Whether it's a good experience or bad, I steer the wheel with people and lately I see no point in trying too hard at all because in the end, everyone I meet is let down by me. In the beginning, my antics seem interesting, but the more you see them the less you can handle the type of person I am. But mainly, I just want to tell everyone that I apologize for the person I am and that I should change. I wish I wasn't raised into this person either.