I know

I need to change quite a bit.
Not really my personality, but the way I do things.
How I react and how fast I get stuff done.
But I can't help feeling that I'm stuck in a rut.
Every time I feel like I'm making progress, I end up facedown.
I've got about two people cheering me on.
Without them this would be even harder.
Trying to make life more worth waking up for is a job in itself.
Working and working constantly just to be okay.
It's crap, because it seems like the happy people got it all for free.
Got it from someone in their family long ago doing all the dirty work.
Lucky them.
I wish I were able to be that person for my family.
But I don't have enough heart.
Not enough will to even satisfy myself.
It's pathetic, I know, but it's me.
As I said, I need to change.